Stop doubting. Stop overthinking. Life is happening and dont waste it wishing it was different. If you want change make a change.

Pretty sum up of how i feel lately. I scared. Scared of change. Of thinking where to go, of thinking im not good enough to be able to change, of thinking that i dont have any particular skill im good at, and bla and bla. Yes, i do overthinking, i'm too scared to make a step, to make a mistake.

Meanwhile, my friends are one step ahead, they start to know where they have to go or what they want to do.

I do really need a support system, and i know i have to build it within myself. Hhhhh........ this too shall pass anggita.

Friday, 7.30

Im listening to labrinth - jealous, cover by adhitya something, dont blame me for not remember his name, i listen this song on a radio, but he got a pretty voice tho. Oh well i'm currently siting on a corner of a coffee shop at train station, considering this as my 'me time'. there's always the mood to write when you have a good song, cup of coffee, and of course plenty of time.

There's no major progress, i still dealing with this and that, and still try to enjoy the ride, instead of doing a never ending complain. I start to enjoy being alone, i start to have the courage to go to someplace by myself, to think that 'hey it's okay to go alone, what's wrong with that?"

And oh i do feel kinda bored, my friends (like half of my friends) is busy talking bout a gossip account on instagram, or talk bout them as if you know them, media social really made people easily judge other people. Shhhh just dont find it interesting.

Life companion.

a friend, an enemy, and a lover in one person, no?

Have it come to your mind what life companion really is?

If i were a man and asked what kind of life companion you would ever asked? I would definitely say my mom kind of person. I salute and admire her a lot. I do.

Beliau orang paling sabar yang pernah saya tahu, Mama adalah orang yang rela meninggalkan karirnya demi mengurus saya dan adik saya, yang selalu menyisihkan uangnya untuk kami jajan lebih meskipun (sekarang) saya mengerti beliau terkadang tidak punya uang untuk itu, ibu adalah orang yang tidak pernah mengeluh walaupun saya tahu pekerjaan beliau dirumah mungkin lebih melelahkan dari pekerjaan saya dikantor, dan mama adalah orang paling sabar yang Tuhan ciptakan untuk ayah saya.

Ayah saya termasuk satu dari segelintir laki-laki yang masih percaya bahwa tugas dan pekerjaan seorang istri adalah dirumah mengurus keluarganya. dan menurut saya bertahan hidup dijaman sekarang dengan seseorang dengan pemikiran seperti itu is a nightmare. And my mom did it anyway. Mungkin itu yang orang bilang tuhan itu mempertemukan seseorang sebagai pasangan karena tuhan tahu mereka saling mengisi saling nelengkapi. Saya percaya itu, tidak ada yang 'kebetulan' untuk hal satu ini. Mereka mungkin 2 orang dengan sifat yang sangat berbeda, tapi mereka tau cara bagaimana agar mereka dapat berjalan bersama.

For whatever reason every couple stay to each other companion is, i salute them. Because i know its not as easy as a fairytale you read backthen when you're 6.

7 days to go

Hi, im currently having my grande cappucino at train station after a tired week. Today is the last day of work before a long long holiday. yes, its libur lebaran! And getting close to my birthday!

Seven.

I dont know, but i like this number that much.
Today is seven days to go to 24. Yes, i will turned 24 by next week. 07 - 07. So excited yet feel bit anxious.

I still think getting older is scary. People are getting so selfish, things are getting more complicated, conversation are getting serious. A time when they feel like rushing in almost everything, when passion is not just a word you read in a magazine, when enjoying something by yourself is sometimes being your stress relieving, when having a job is not merely about earn money, when a companion is not merely having someone to have fun with you. :)

But i promise i will enjoy the ride, whatever it is! :) ciao... i have to take my train back home. Happy holiday!

Bojong Gede station - 06.55 am

Hi im back to routine, commuting bogor - jkt early in the morning. As usual, i take a commuter line on 7.00 or 6.50. There is some 'attributes' that almost all people who take commuter line would wear, mask and earphone, dunno, but its kind of mandatory 😁

Commuter line these past few days sucks, and oh so does with jakarta's traffic ☺ anyway this is my first day being the-what-so-called-with-pegawai-tetap ehehe. There's no much difference tho, they just change the 'label' 😛


Manggarai station - 9.12 pm

Im waiting for my commuter line back home, and now im listening to radio with my grande ice cappucino. A cappucino ice after waiting a bus for 30 mins, and being rejected by 2 gojek driver, and walking for about 15 min, is heaven.

I love to hear songs in radio at this hour, somehow its like they play a song to ease the pain after standing in a public transportation for hours, also to let you think for what have you did today. And now they play a song from yovie and nuno, all time legend. I do wondering these past few days 'do i really want to live this kind of routine for years?'. I'm not talking bout the job, i love the job. But the traffic, the commuter line things is killing me. Thought i shud start to find a new job, with a new number in my payroll, so i can rent a dorm or else.

The good thing from today is its friday, some hours to free-day!!!

First thing first, today sucks!

I believe whover have a job or something to do in jakarta, will spent half of their day stuck in traffic. And i salute them. These past 2 years i do also dealing with the traffic, and by today traffic is everywhere and its worse. And commute jkt - bogor everyday just make it worse. And when you got home you have no electricity. Die. I miss jogja, i miss not being in a rush, i miss enjoying my cup of coffee, music, books, i miss every single thing bout that city. that one lovely city.

Remember this anggita, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. 💪💪

Hi there twenty something life,

As i'm getting older, i realized that i can't depend on someone or something. I do feel that expectation kills. People are getting busy with their life and their problems, so do i. You just can't expect time will remain the same and someone will not change. It really hurts. Being older is scary. Adulthood is selfish. You will get disappointed for something or someone a thousand more times. But darling, in the end, you have to be your own hero, because everyone is busy trying to save themselves.