Jumat, 26 Mei 2017

Quarter Life Crisis


The time when you finally home, and suddenly feeling blue. A mix feeling, i just can't describe it.

I got an interview today, and i ruined it. The thing is offering ini datang ketika saya sudah mantap memutuskan untuk fokus di tempat saya bekerja saat ini, because it seems promising. Jadilah saya tidak mempersiapkan interview dengan baik, its like nothing to lose. Sampai ketika selesai interview, muncul nama bos baik hati di layar handphone,i thought he asked something related kerjaan. And taraaa he bring a surprise!! There-is-NO-INCREAMENT-THIS-YEAR, DANG!! 🙃 dan siangnya lo baru merusak kesempatan. I dont know, but i do feel sad, the feeling when you think you've done much but you dont feel appreciated.

This person been in my head these past few weeks, i need this kind of person, i do feel i want do better since i knew him. But it happen to be a mutual feeling ☺ maybe i expect to much. Menginjak umur 25 ini saya mulai merasakan the need of someone, to share, to laugh with, to travel with. Berat ternyata being single ketika umur semakin bertambah. Untuk hal satu ini sepertinya hal paling bijak yang bisa saya lakukan adalah dibawa dalam doa, and let god do the rest.

Entah kenapa 2 hal diatas membuat saya semakin merasa insecure. Ketika saya sudah merasa yakin, lalu ternyata semuanya berubah. Ketika saya merasa 'he is the right person' tetapi yang bersangkutan tidak merasa demikian membuat saya bertanya-tanya ada apa dengan saya? apa hal salah yang saya lakukan? Saya sedang dalam tahap lelah, too much surprising things. And there's no one to share, and i just can't share this even to my best, that's why i need someone who i fully trust.

Selasa, 23 Mei 2017

Mr. Right (?)

"Timing is something that none of us can seem to get quite right with relationship" yes true so just dont ever think it would be perfect if only i met him before bla bla bla, or it may be work if only i did bla bla bla that day. The thing is Anggita my honey, the people we meet at the wrong time are actually just the wrong people, fullstop. Let it go.

Jumat, 28 April 2017

A Ghost From The Past

Kalo kata Pablo Neruda: “Love is so short, forgetting is so long.”

Dang!! Chat malam ini dari mantan, yang tadi sore tiba-tiba muncul dikantor bawa sekotak ice cream sebagai permintaan maaf karena sudah membatalkan janji makan siang.

Oh well, sepertinya saya sudah tidak aneh dengan sesuatu yang serba tiba-tiba. Seperti tiba-tiba pergi, lalu tiba-tiba kembali lagi, dan tiba-tiba mengirimkan chat ini. It makes me feel like a joke and annoyed and disgusted at the same time.

Mungkin dia lupa, kita sudah sama-sama dewasa, manisnya ice cream sudah tidak cukup lagi untuk menghapus pahitnya rasa kecewa.

The feeling when he left you unsaid, and you know he already has a new girlfriend, then years later he came to you said that he is sorry for the thing he did to me back then, and now he think that i can feel the same thing again.

Ehehehe MAJOR BULLSHIT of 2017 🙃

Rabu, 05 April 2017

Wednesday, april 5th. One of infamous Bee Gees's song how deep is your love is playing on the radio. Its 11 at night, the best time to think again what's been on my mind and what did i do these past few weeks. The above words are pretty much sum up what happened lately. There here is, being too scared to do something new has been my biggest problem, the thing that makes me stuck in one place, and i'm pretty aware of it. I missed a job opportunity, beacuse of my fault, overthinking the pointless thing, not focus, and ruin it, a very good job :). Yea well next time i will remember either it will work or it won't, THAT'S LIFE ANGGITA. Dont overthink! Dont underestimate yourself! Just do it, believe in yourself!

Senin, 26 September 2016

Stop doubting. Stop overthinking. Life is happening and dont waste it wishing it was different. If you want change make a change.

Pretty sum up of how i feel lately. I scared. Scared of change. Of thinking where to go, of thinking im not good enough to be able to change, of thinking that i dont have any particular skill im good at, and bla and bla. Yes, i do overthinking, i'm too scared to make a step, to make a mistake.

Meanwhile, my friends are one step ahead, they start to know where they have to go or what they want to do.

I do really need a support system, and i know i have to build it within myself. Hhhhh........ this too shall pass anggita.

Jumat, 16 September 2016

Friday, 7.30

Im listening to labrinth - jealous, cover by adhitya something, dont blame me for not remember his name, i listen this song on a radio, but he got a pretty voice tho. Oh well i'm currently siting on a corner of a coffee shop at train station, considering this as my 'me time'. there's always the mood to write when you have a good song, cup of coffee, and of course plenty of time.

There's no major progress, i still dealing with this and that, and still try to enjoy the ride, instead of doing a never ending complain. I start to enjoy being alone, i start to have the courage to go to someplace by myself, to think that 'hey it's okay to go alone, what's wrong with that?"

And oh i do feel kinda bored, my friends (like half of my friends) is busy talking bout a gossip account on instagram, or talk bout them as if you know them, media social really made people easily judge other people. Shhhh just dont find it interesting.

Selasa, 12 Juli 2016

Life companion.

a friend, an enemy, and a lover in one person, no?

Have it come to your mind what life companion really is?

If i were a man and asked what kind of life companion you would ever asked? I would definitely say my mom kind of person. I salute and admire her a lot. I do.

Beliau orang paling sabar yang pernah saya tahu, Mama adalah orang yang rela meninggalkan karirnya demi mengurus saya dan adik saya, yang selalu menyisihkan uangnya untuk kami jajan lebih meskipun (sekarang) saya mengerti beliau terkadang tidak punya uang untuk itu, ibu adalah orang yang tidak pernah mengeluh walaupun saya tahu pekerjaan beliau dirumah mungkin lebih melelahkan dari pekerjaan saya dikantor, dan mama adalah orang paling sabar yang Tuhan ciptakan untuk ayah saya.

Ayah saya termasuk satu dari segelintir laki-laki yang masih percaya bahwa tugas dan pekerjaan seorang istri adalah dirumah mengurus keluarganya. dan menurut saya bertahan hidup dijaman sekarang dengan seseorang dengan pemikiran seperti itu is a nightmare. And my mom did it anyway. Mungkin itu yang orang bilang tuhan itu mempertemukan seseorang sebagai pasangan karena tuhan tahu mereka saling mengisi saling nelengkapi. Saya percaya itu, tidak ada yang 'kebetulan' untuk hal satu ini. Mereka mungkin 2 orang dengan sifat yang sangat berbeda, tapi mereka tau cara bagaimana agar mereka dapat berjalan bersama.

For whatever reason every couple stay to each other companion is, i salute them. Because i know its not as easy as a fairytale you read backthen when you're 6.